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Sudden run

from 2 by Luci

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lyrics

How small can I make myself? How soft can I speak? Before I pass that lower peak and, reverse complete. For the moment you don’t laugh with me, while I laugh to see the utterly absurd grip I keep on a verb like “to be”. I am not less, but neither am I more than the stuff of which I'm made, and holy fuck what a miracle I can feel afraid. Death does not seem to be the thing about which I’ve been told, but it’s one way to tell the kind of time I try to hold.

I am some dust held together by desire. I am a want to stay alive. I am the waves of blood behind me, and the dark toward which I strive. How am I so far from home? With you, I'm alone. Trying to give away my ghost, keeping the host unknown.

My inconsistent second person always sounds like more than two, but the number never changes, there is only me and you.

I am only more than nothing, nothing more.. I sound ridiculous, who talks like this? Really I wish you would not listen while I keep on this way. It makes me feel too much like I might actually have something to say.

I’m a word on the wave of a breath, fully spoken but unplanned. Always perfect in too many ways to ever understand. There will not be silence. Never has there been. From ever there was echo in directionless wind. A broken voice in conversation with itself. So entirely in love with eternal something else.

I am defenseless, but all that I might fight against is all in my own senses, and to end this will depend if I can make it to the dark. I built a kingdom just like you, it fits me perfect, and honestly I'd rather simply dance, but I can't stand to let a single word be single out my mouth, the mess remains a mess and I've undressed too far beyond my timid "yes". I know there must be a measure I could take of this space. After all the fact I’m still here must mean something.

Caught tangled in a pack of all these working senses. Ever down the line over so many of the highest fences. One or maybe another of the veined armless fools trying to teach me how to play with only known rules. Often it costs everything to get so very lost, but it's a way to cross the plane with no blindfold in an all-consuming wonder that can barely stand to see what's right in front of me, let alone the all that could be if we tried.

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from 2, released January 23, 2023

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